so it’s a new year and i thought, why not a blog post? right?
so what happened in 2013? thought i would share a little of what’s been going on around here with alfie and sleep and us in general.
always start positive! so alfie still sleeps like a champ through the night. that is, most of the time. regressions are just part of being a baby, and he still surprises us once in awhile with night waking (or night screaming. “DADDY! MOMMY! ….DADDDDDY!). but for the most part, we get rest.
naps are another story. he never napped well. i’ll probably write a silly song about it someday, but it’s true. the kid will not take a damn nap. it ended this past summer. i had got him to about 45 min, maybe an hour if i was lucky and then we left him at my parents for a weekend while we went to VT with friends. when we got him back, the nap drama came full force, and i’ll tell you, i fought it for WEEKS. i stayed as consistent as possible, but it was bumming me out listening to him screaming for an hour. for the record, he will not sit in his crib and play pretend like some children who have given up napping. it’s a full tilt of screaming. the tilt o’scream. so i gave up. now we go wherever we want during the day, with no schedule to get in the way of whatever activity we’re doing. i guess he won that battle, but i’ve made peace with it because he’s in bed by 6pm and i have the whole evening to wind down from our day.
as you can imagine, the month of screaming through nap time followed by full, no-nap days with a high needs toddler is still taking a toll on my anxiety levels and depression. my healthy methods for dealing with this is regular therapy appointments as well as regular primary care check ups to take the little ‘how depressed are you’ quiz, and to see if we need to change anything in regards to my medication. if i was gonna be really good, i would exercise, but let’s not get too carried away.
my unhealthy methods for dealing with it mostly include a stiff drink or two in the evening hours once little al is alseep. that probably doesn’t sound too bad, but with the holidays come the parties and happy reunions with far away friends, but also emotional highs and lows, so the last few months have been particularly boozy. but not this month. i ordered myself a new 18oz. klean kanteen. the libations are put away and the fridge is soda-less. i will drink water. it’s not a new years resolution. it’s the realization that i’m constantly dehydrated, tired, stiff, sore and irritable. not to mention the dark bags under my eyes, red blotchy patches on my skin and added weight from countless rum and cokes (not even diet coke sometimes, y’all).
i’m not giving up all alcohol for good. i’m started from scratch. re-booting. trying to pace myself and save what i can of my skin and brain cells. i turn 31 this year and it’s never too late to get into a new routine.
being a mom is still awesome, by the way. people will say, ‘but you can’t just pick up and leave and travel whenever you want. you’re so limited with a child’. i would say to them, there’s nowhere i’d rather be than with my little high needs monster. after a week in any part of the world, i’d be itching to get back to him just to watch him play with his choo choo’s and his cars and to watch him look over at his daddy while tapping me on the knee and asking, ‘is it mommy?!’.